The Three Day Pass Ch. 25

“This is a work of fiction, and as such the characters are not bound by the usual dictates of modern society. Unsafe sexual practices can be undertaken with impunity only in the world of fantasy. In reality, it is your obligation and your right to play safely, sanely and healthily.

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End of Chapter 24

“Damn it lover you don’t need any aphrodisiacs. Get the hell out of here. You better take that shower-alone. GO NOW, habibi, before I insist that you fuck me right here and now. Right on the floor with the servants as onlookers cheering you on…”

Chapter 25

Joseph, after taking a shower and a quick shave exited the bathroom drying his damp hair with a big fluffy towel. At one time he hated the fact that the army had insisted that his longish blond hair had to be cut short. Now he could see some advantages to the military ‘Buzz Cut’. First of all, it dried quickly and it was easy to keep groomed. But lately an additional plus came to light. Whenever he rubbed the short stubble it reminded him of Rich. Now that man was the love of his life, but at times he could be so weird.

For the last few weeks, during their lovemaking, he would find any excuse (or no excuse at all) to rub his cock and balls over the short hair. When Joseph asked him why, he said it was a major turn on. That it felt like tiny electric shocks stimulating his libido. He said it made him fantasize about all kinds of erotic situations, none of which he would divulge. Joseph never pressed him for any answers, but the fantasies sure added to their bedtime activities…. Oh! Damn it, there I go again the soldier thought; all I have to do is to think about Rich and I start getting hard. I’ve got to put him out of my mind. Thinking about him can make me careless and I cannot afford the luxury of that now. It takes only one slip and its curtains for me. (No, not the type of curtains he visualized in one of his own crazy fantasies. The one in which the both of them were on stage doing the “Dance of the Seven Veils”. After the last veil floated to the ground, he and Rich, completely nude, are holding hands and bowing before a huge applauding audience as the curtain comes down!) (Now who is weird? he asked himself.) He was constantly trying to force this daydreaming crap out of his consciousness by repeatedly telling himself, over and over; I have to stop thinking of him. Being with Rich is fun. With Rich my mine can relax and be free. Being with Fazzi is not fun. It is work, deadly work. I have to focus and keep focused. My mind must always remain concentrated on the job.

Wrapping the big towel around his waist, he walked over to the walk-in closet where he surveyed the growing collection of clothes hanging there. Along with two sets of army fatigues and his class ‘A’ uniforms, the maid had hung the new suits and sports clothes that Fazzi had ordered custom made for him. (Fazzi had also wanted to have his uniforms tailored but he had really put his foot down on that one.) The tailor had done a beautiful job on the new items. All were beautifully crafted and hand finished. All very expensive looking and made to give the impression that the wearer was either a highly successful young businessman or more likely, a man ‘kept’ by one. The entire wardrobe must have set Fazzi back almost as much as he had paid for the BMW. Standing there he could not help but admire the beauty of two special items. Items. Hanging there were not one but two tuxedoes, one a formal black ‘penguin’ tux and the other a white dinner tux. While he had not wanted either, now as he ran his fingers over the material, he secretly ached to try on the black one.

In addition to this expensive wardrobe, Fazzi had also paid the tailor a small fortune to have a tailor’s dummy made up. That duplicate of the soldier’s body now stood in the corner of the closet and could be used when Fazzi wanted to order new outfits for Joseph. The only thing required was to select the material and style and the tailor would make up whatever he wanted. When not used for that purpose, the tailor had told them it could be used to hold jackets while the maid steamed the wrinkles out. When Joseph had again protested, it was Fazzi this time who put his foot down. Throwing his arms in the air, begging for the assistance of a higher authority, he then shook his finger in Joseph’s face and said, “damn it habibi you better face certain facts; no matter what you say or want, I am going to surprise you from time to time with gifts. It is my nature! I love to give gifts to those I love. It is the nature of my people to express love in this manor. This is an old Arab tradition and if I must say so myself, perhaps one of the best. So why not make it a little easier on the both of us! I don’t have a lot of time to waste shopping nor do I have the time to stand in line exchanging something that is the wrong fit or size. But most of all, as you should have learned by now, it is just not my style to buy ‘off the racks’. That is for peons. Then again how can a gift be a surprise if you have to go for fittings? And this will simplify it for you too. I don’t want you to have to spend all that time on fittings, standing on a raised platform having a stranger running his hands over that sexy body, touching you where he should not touch you and sticking pins into you. Time is money and we can use it much more effectively —- besides if someone is going to stick something into you-it is going to be me and I won’t use pins. Look at it as a money saving thing. We are lovers as well business partners. We will be going to a lot of business and social activities and we will need more clothes. The tailor made a mannequin of me and I am ordering one of you. Just trust me on this–this is the way of the ‘rich class’. And you, my ex-farmer, are going to be rich, very rich. So get used to it. You are no longer a ‘Fellah’. And I don’t want to hear or see you acting like a peon ever again.”

Opening one of the dresser draws, Joseph ran his fingertips over the new silk dressing gown and pajamas the Arab had purchased for him. He had never felt pure silk before. It was so light and smooth and it had this seductive sexy feeling. No wonder women loved its texture against their bodies. He almost ‘creamed’ at the thought of it next to his skin. And then he smiled, as in his minds eye he pictured Rich in a similar set of pajamas. He made a mental note to remind himself that as soon as he could he was going to buy Rich a set of these. Damn there I go again. I can’t put these on now. With that material rubbing against my privates the Washington monument would take second place to the ‘Benson’ monument. While he was not concerned that Fazzi would see him so aroused, he did have misgivings about that nice maid seeing him exposed. These and other thoughts were suddenly and rudely interrupted by the voice of Fazzi coming through the intercom. He was telling him dinner would be ready in a half hour and to please get ready and come down on time-as he feared that cold lamb kabobs might loose their potency. Joseph, smiling told him he would be ready and that Fazzi should wait for him in the dinning room.

A playful mood descended on Joseph and instead of the silk nightclothes he removed the formal black Tux from the closet and quickly got all dressed up. Needless to say, the outfit fit like a glove. In fact it even came with a pair of gloves, a top hat and a shiny black cane with a silver handgrip and tip. What the hell, why not go all the way? Completely outfitted along with new black shoes and silk socks, he gave himself a final inspection in the full-length three-sided mirror that enabled him to view his entire body. He smiled and couldn’t help saying to himself, God it does look great, I could get used to this kind of thing. Then placing the cane over his shoulder and using it to tilt the top hat at a rakish angle, he left the room whistling and walking with that Fred Astaire swagger he had admired when he watched those old films. He descended the stairs (he almost felt like tap-dancing down them) and made his way to the dinning room. He stopped in the doorway and leaning against the doorjamb, he struck a pose that would have done the old time dancer-actor proud. Then he cleared his throat and awaited Fazzi’s reactions.

The Arab looked up and let out a gasp as his mouth fell to the floor. He said nothing. He was speechless. His hands started to tremble almost over-filling the wineglass he had been filling.

“OHHHHHHHHHHH! ” crooned Joseph. “I’m sorry but I thought we were dressing for dinner!” Then after placing his top hat and cane on the sideboard and slowly removing his gloves and adding them to the pile, he proceeded to the table with all the grace he could muster and took his seat. At that precise moment the maid entered the room carrying the tray loaded with Lamb kabobs and steaming rice. She took one look and almost dropped the tray.

“Ya Rob, My god, so handsome, a movie star!” she exclaimed trying to recover her poise and some how, at the same time, managing to place the tray on the table. “See sir? Just like I said. A young prince-a Hollywood star. He makes me wish I was Cinderella.”

“That will be enough out of you young lady. Remember, he is already spoken for. He is engaged to my daughter and the property of the Muhammad family. I will finish the serving. You can take the evening off now and go home to your mother. Make sure you give my regards to her and have a nice evening. Good night Summaya.” Fazzi said.

“Yes Summaya,” Joseph added, “Good night and thanks for unpacking and arranging my closet.”

Still a bit shaken but recovering his senses and his humor Fazzi said, “Yussef, next time, please give us some hint. I almost spilled our wine and she almost dropped our dinner on the floor. You must forgive Summaya, she is the daughter of an old friend of mine that served with me and died in The Lebanon. I more or less adopted her and her mother and at times she forgets herself and takes too many liberties.”

“She is sweet and a very good worker. We should treasure her, as good help is almost impossible to find these days. I like her very much. She does what I ask her to do and if I say not to do something she, unlike some people I know, listens to me. Next time perhaps you will listen to me when I say not to do something. If you had not got me the Tuxedoes, as I requested in the first place, I would not have been tempted to do this. It is all your fault.” He jested arranging himself at the table. “Spending your money on such foolishness.”

“Foolishness, maybe, but it was worth every cent.” Fazzi said as he poured out two glasses of wine and then raised his glass to Yussef and offered a toast, “to us and all our happy times to come.” To which the soldier added, “and to your boundless generosity which, though I may fight like hell against it-in my heart -I love both it and the giver.” They clicked glasses and sipped the wine. Fazzi then proceeded to serve out the food, placing it before them. The rising steam along with the perfumed smell of the ever so slightly charred lamb teased, titillated and tantalized their appetites as they started to eat.

“So how was your day? Anything important happen so far?” Joseph asked as he tore into the food.

“You know Yussef for all the years that Mary and I were living together, she rarely, if ever asked me that question. I like that you do. It shows you are interested in me and not just in our sexual escapades. I am going to have to get used to this. It is a new experience for me. Now let’s see, oh yes, do remember those two Syrians diplomats who you met here a while back?”

“You mean Allie Balbak and Hussain See… I seem to have forgotten his name..?”

“Hassan, Hassan Segour.” Fazzi corrected him. “You do have a good memory, habibi. Well they were here today again.”

“What did they want?” Joseph asked fearing what Allie might have reported to Fazzi and trying to cover his nervousness.

“I’m afraid that they were here to deliver some bad news to me. I am going to have to return to Syria in about two months on a family business visit. I may be gone for about a week. Those two men were here today to inform me that my brother passed away this past week and the family has asked me to come home and to go over his papers…..”

“His papers! Aren’t you going to the burial? I should think you would want to attend.”

“No! That will not be possible as he is already buried. I will of course pay my respects at his grave when I’m there. I could have a memorial service for him here in Paterson, but that too, just does not seem to be the right thing to do. I hate to tell you this but you see we never did get along too well and…. My brother has always been jealous of me, as is the rest of the family. Anyway a special service would just be sort of hypocritical.”

“Jealous? I would think that they should be proud of you. Why would they be jealous?” asked Joseph.

“Because I was the one that ‘got out’. Think about it for a moment or two. Coming from a rural family yourself, I am sure that you can appreciate how the rest of my family felt about my escaping that life. To them I was just the lazy boy who would not accept his family’s place in life and ran away leaving them to struggle. In the beginning I sent them money when I had it. Who knows what they did with it. My family still lives in a very remote rural section of the country. There are few if any telephones and a good road is unheard of. They seldom even go to the nearest big town, let alone the capital. I think I was the first in the family to even see a train, let alone ride on one. They still think radios are a tool of the devil. Anyway it has been decided that because I was so tied up here with the fund; that the earliest we could get together was in two months. By that time the fund should be well on its way and the money should have begun to flow. The two months will also give my family time to gather up his papers as well as time to recover somewhat from their loss. Then we can all sit down and be better able to make the decisions required with calmer heads.”

“I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Is there anything, anything at all that I can do? Perhaps you would you like me to go with you?” Joseph asked knowing that this would put him in more solid with Fazzi. “Having someone close to you at this time is important. Perhaps there is something I can do there to help; after all I am going to be a part of your family, one way or the other.”

“What about your job, the school and the army? Would you get in trouble if you were to drop everything and come with me?” Fazzi questioned hoping that he could find a diplomatic way out of having to take Yussef with him at this time. Maybe he could take him another time, one when he would not be so involved with the Jihad.

“Well I do have a little leave time coming, however for this, since it involves leaving the United States, I would have to make a special request for additional leave and I do not know if they will grant it as this is not for the death of a blood relative.” Joseph said, trying to leave himself a way out at least until he could talk to Agent Barns. “I could ask and see what happens. They might just make an exception.”

“Do you really think that they will? I do not, not to Syria. Not at this time. An American serviceman-it would be the end of your military career.”

“I’m not so sure of that but if they refused and you still wanted me to go, then that might be a problem. If you felt that you really needed me well there are other ways….”

“You mean you would…. No, Habibi, I could not ask you to do that. While I would love you to come to Syria with me, at this time I do have something more important for you to do right here. It is doing what I have been wanting to train you to do.”

“You want to train me???”

“Well ‘train’ might not be the right word. Groom, yes groom would be better. I have been trying to groom you to be my second in command, to take over for me if I should have to go out of the picture for a while. That is why I had you appointed as my representative and contact man between the fund and Worthington Investments. That is also why I want to officially adopt you. Like I was saying before, in two months the money should begin to roll in and I will need you here to see that everything is going well.” Fazzi explained. “Please agree to do this for me habibi.”

“If you think I will help you more by staying at home, so be it.”

“Great! I’m glad you agree to do this for me and have not insisted on accompanying me this time. If you had I might have been tempted to take you with me against my best interests and judgment. For now, I do not need you running up and down some mountains in the back woods of Syria where some hot blooded horny Bedouin might spot you, develop a craving for your blond body and decide to kidnap you for his tent slave.” Fazzi jested as Joseph laughed. “That’s really not so far fetched as it seems. Like I told you there are still lawless areas and plenty of brigands in my country. I should know because I was one and there are still people back there that think I still am one.”

They ate the rest of their dinner mostly in silence and Joseph was somehow able to keep from soiling the tux. After dinner they cleared the table and Joseph said he was afraid to press his luck any further, that he might soil the tux and was going up to change into something more comfortable. Fazzi asked if he wanted coffee in the library. “Why not bring it upstairs and we can have it in the master bedroom together?”

“Great idea! You go on up and I’ll join you. Get yourself comfortable. Put on the new pajamas I purchased for you. And look in the pocket. You will find a condom. I put it there to remind you what the Kabobs were for. Not that you would forget.” He smiled. “I won’t be too long. I just want to check out the house, lock up and bring up the portable coffee pot. It is going to be just the two of us alone tonight, and I don’t want anyone to disturb us.”

“The day that I need a condom to remind me to make love to you will be the day I will need more than kabobs.” Joseph laughed and went up to his room where he changed into the silk P.Js and laid down on his bed with the pajama top still unbuttoned, waiting for Fazzi to come in. Soon the odor of brewing coffee filled the air and then he heard Fazzi in their adjoining bathroom. Getting out of bed, he walked to the door, the silk ends of the pajama top flapping in the breeze. He opened the door and the Arab was standing by the sink dressed in a duplicate pair of P.Js finishing the brushing of his teeth. Joseph entered and placed his arms around him and kissed his ear lobe.

“I really don’t know how to act now that I know of the death of your brother but, damn it, you smell and taste so good.” He whispered into his ear.

The Arab half turned his face and said, “Yussef please do not let my brother’s death bother you. We have not been close for years and years.” Then to prove it, he continued in jest “What you smell must be that new men’s cologne ‘Essence of Lamb Kabob Number 1′. I had a chemist conjure it up just for you. Does it do anything for you?”

“GRRrrrrr! That odor and these pajamas, they are both real sexy turn-ons.” growled the solider as he sank his mouth into the back of Fazzi’s neck and moved on to his broad shoulders sucking on the delectable meat and leaving red love marks along the way. “I see you got yourself a matching pair of these pajamas and I like that. These P.Js are so nice and soft that I don’t feel like I have anything on.” His hard cock grinding into the silk covered ass cheeks of the gasping man.

“You had also better get used to him hanging around in lingerie. He has a tendency to do that and if you are not prepared for it, it can scar you for life.”

Derek spit out the coke he had been drinking. “No kidding?”

“No kidding.”

“Jeeze. No offense, but I’m glad I don’t have to room with him.”

“That’s okay. I’m glad I don’t either!”

I think my heart actually stopped when he stood and took off his shirt, going over to close the door. “Well, I suppose I should get a good nights rest, too. Got to get up early tomorrow morning.”

Sitting up in bed, I’m ashamed to admit I watched eagerly as he stripped down to his boxer-briefs. Had I not been clenching my jaw so tight, I would have been drooling. Every part of his body was just as my dreams said it would be. And the parts his underwear cradled left very little to the imagination. The boy was packed!

Giving my shoulder a friendly pat, he launched himself up into his bed. “Nite!”

“N-night.” Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well that night.

Morning rose disgustingly bright and cheerful. I’d only fallen asleep two hours previous when Derek jumped down onto the floor. “Wake up, man. Class starts in an hour. If we hurry, we can catch some breakfast first.”

Grumbling, I rolled out of bed onto the floor. Curious as to why my legs didn’t work the way they should have, I looked down to find them mummified in the sheets and proudly sporting a boner the size of Tokyo Tower. Shit! Grabbing my sheets tightly around my waist, I tried to rise only to find the damn sheets were wrapped tighter around my legs than I had thought.

“You okay, man? Didn’t sleep well, did you?” Derek looked down at my sheet encased legs. Bending down, he gave a sharp tug to the sheets. “You were moaning those last couple of hours. Nightmares?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Truth be told, they were some of the most erotic dreams I think I’ve ever had. Once my legs were free, I jumped up and ran for the door. “Gonna grab a shower first, I’ll be right back!”

And so, this is how my life started at college. Derek thought I was a little obsessed about the morning ritual of showering, but I could deal with that as long as he didn’t realize I was going to jack off.

Four months into the school year, he and I became really good friends. I went to all of his football games; he was a lead quarterback. We hung out all the time, even with Jose. My crush wrapped around my heart with barbed wire and began to tighten painfully.

I found myself falling for a straight guy that had a girlfriend. Now how screwed up is that?

Derek had no idea the feelings I had for him. Since I was a drama major, I was a fairly good actor, so I liked to think that played a good portion for his obliviousness. He liked to tease me all the time about things. My good looks, my morning showers, my oblivious nature to all girls, my fear of heights. Anything he could find. He never did it out of meanness, it was all in fun and if I really couldn’t stand something, he wouldn’t tease me about it anymore. One of his favorite games was to go out on the limb of the tree outside our window and pretend he was going to lose his grip. Freaked me out every time, even though I knew he wouldn’t fall. But for me whose afraid of heights and knowing we were on the third floor, I couldn’t help but beg him to come back in. During one of those begging sessions was how he got me to write his mid-term paper.

Derek had even confided in me that he didn’t love his girlfriend. He was with her because they had been expected to be together all through high school. He was fairly positive she had cheated on him countless times, but they liked to keep up appearances. Both of their parents always said they looked like the perfect couple. But looks were often deceiving. When I asked him why he didn’t just dump her, he told me that he didn’t like to be alone and he didn’t really have an interest in anyone else at the moment so he just kept her around the same way she kept him around.

He talked about breaking up with her eventually. He was just bored with her and their whole relationship. He just wasn’t sure when he wanted to do it or if he even would.

It was sad, really. It was like he was content with the way things were, like he was in a rut that he didn’t have the gumption to get out of. But worst of all, I had wanted to tell him to dump the twit and date me instead. Yeah, right, as if I had the guts to do that. Even if I did, he would probably think it was a joke.

The last football game of the year is tonight and I told him I’d be there. It’s not like I’ve missed any of the games, but tonight he made me swear I’d be there. He said it was for luck. Apparently, I had become a lucky charm to him when he was playing, just knowing that I was there watching and cheering him on.

Standing before the mirror in our room, I shook my head at myself. Down at my feet attacking my toes was a small grey kitten with white feet, hence named Boots. Granted, animals were not allowed in the dorms, but the poor thing had looked like it was starving and it would have frozen to death, so I took it in about two weeks ago. The whole floor knew about it, but they had all fallen in love with the little bundle of fluff, so no one ratted me out. Derek had just laughed at me and ruffled my hair the morning I brought the cat in, saying that was so like me to try and save the kitten. While wiggling my toes for the amusement of Boots, I glared at my reflection. My brown hair never seemed to understand the idea of what a brush was for. Oh, I tried to tame it, but my hands couldn’t resist running through it so it constantly had this mused look about it that Jose said was sexy. I say it’s just sloppy, but I work with what I’ve been given. Not willing to spend the sixty dollars it would cost to get that naturally sun kissed look that Derek’s hair had, I was stuck with dirt brown just sitting there on top of my head like some unruly beast. Where Derek had that ruggedly good looking almost needs a shave, but not quite look, I had a damn baby face! I tried saving before there was really anything to shave and what happened? My face got smoother. I don’t even have peach fuzz to be proud of. Curse my luck. Steel gray eyes staring back at me, I stuck my tongue out at my reflection and bent to save my mangled big toe from the ferocious Boots.

“I’m out of here, okay? You’ve got milk in the corner and I’m warning you, don’t even think about eating my homework. I’ll leave the window open a crack so you wont die of stale air. Now be good.” Dropping the kitten on my bed, where it sat there and meowed at me, I grabbed my scarf and headed out the door.

The game was fantastic. That’s all I can say! Derek actually had the ball and ran eighty-five yards for a touch down! The crowd went wild at that. Jose even got up on an over hang (giving me a mild heart attack) and started the wave with his pompoms and cheerleader skirt. How he managed to get a hold of one of the skirts shall ever remain a mystery. Our head kicker could have been kicking for the pros, he was so good. When we scored the winning points, the crowd poured out onto the field to congratulate the team and to wreck havoc in general.

Jose and I followed down to the field looking for Derek and Tim, Jose’s current boy toy. Jose ruffled his pompoms and shouted over the crowd. “Oh, honey, there is my man. I’ll see you later, okay?”

I nodded, but Jose was already leaping himself into Tim’s arms. I moved forward, still looking for Derek when I saw him at the end of the field by the goal posts. A pretty little red head I recognized as April, his girlfriend, was hanging on his arm as the school’s journalism club took pictures of them. Any joy I had at the game disintegrated in a horrible mass of stomach acid. Bile stung my tongue as I glared at the happy couple. I couldn’t help it, really. I’ve had Derek to myself for the last several months without hardly a phone call from his so-called girlfriend and now here she was soaking up the limelight in all his glory from a spectacular play. I easily could have swung her around by her hair just for pleasure, but I didn’t. That would have looked like jealousy.

“Ethan! We won, man!” Derek disengaged his arm from the leech and ran over to me grabbing me in a bear hug. “We did it! We won! Did you see that run I made?”

Stepping back from his embrace, I blushed. “Yeah, I saw it. You were fantastic.”

April glared daggers at me, stalked over and grabbed Derek around the neck only to plaster her slobbery mouth all over his luscious lips. All I can say is it’s a good thing I was not armed at that moment or she would be toast. “Honey, who is your friend? I’m April Trovko, Derek’s girlfriend.”

Her sneer almost matched mine. Even Derek wasn’t so blind as to see the explosion of dislike between us. “Ethan Chambers, his roommate. Funny, he doesn’t talk about you much.”

April’s face almost matched her hair in that spectacular moment. “You prick!”

“Hey, be nice, man. She’s my girlfriend,” Derek said with a strange mixture of anger, confusion, and embarrassment.

“Oh, you mean the one you are shackled to by obligation and are fairly certain is having numerous affairs on you? That girlfriend? Well, April, I must say it is an honor to meet you.” I did a mock semi bow.

“You arrogant bastard! You slimy filth!” April was screaming now, and attracting quite a gathering of curious on lookers.

“Scank.”

Derek looked at me for a split second before his fist shot out and decked me in the mouth. My head whipped to the side and I tasted blood, but I deserved a whole lot more than that, I knew. Derek would have every right to kick my ass from here to tomorrow and I wouldn’t stop him.

I could hear April laughing now. People had gathered around and were murmuring. Shame rose up in me; I thought I would die right then, but I couldn’t give April the satisfaction.

Wiping the blood from my mouth with my sleeve, I looked down at the ground. I had to leave, I couldn’t stay here. I had crossed an unspeakable line and I knew it and so did Derek. I couldn’t face him. Without looking up, I think I muttered something close to an apology and turned to walk away. I had to fight to get through the crowd and when I did, I broke into a run. I couldn’t seem to go fast enough, I could still hear April laughing behind me.

What have I done? Derek would never talk to me again and I wouldn’t blame him! I lost a friend because I was jealous of a girl, but not just any girl. His GIRLFRIEND!!!

How could I have been so stupid?

It wasn’t long before I found myself in my dorm room scrounging through our mini fridge for something cold to put on my mouth. Grabbing a Sprite and a Kleenex, I dabbed at my mouth and then started sucking on the can of Sprite. My mouth hurt like hell, but my heart hurt worse. I was so stupid I could kill myself right. I had never been more tempted to slit my wrists than I was right then. I was such a fool.

What I really needed was some cuddling. Jose was out, he had Tim to keep him occupied and I had no desire to walk in on him ridding Tim. Looking around I called out for Boots, but couldn’t find him. “Boots?”

A tiny meow drifted to me. I looked under the bed, in the clothing piled around the room, near the trunk and still couldn’t find him. Calling out again, I realized with a horror where the meow was coming from. Running to the window I opened it wide. There, out on the thick limb of the tree, was Boots huddled next to the trunk. Seeing me, he started to meow louder.

“Oh, Jesus, no. Boots, come here kitty. Come on, kitty! Please, Boots, come back this way.” But the cat wasn’t coming. Poor little thing looked frightened to death, not that I blamed it. Running out into the hall, I looked around for anyone that would be able to reach the cat, but they had all gone to the game. The halls were empty.

Taking a deep breath, I walked back to the window with tears in my eyes. “You stupid cat, look what you’ve done. I hate heights. They scare me worse than anything in the world and you go out on to a tree limb three stories above the frozen ground. You little fur ball, I should leave you out there.”

Tears streaking down my face, I crawled up onto the window sill. Willing myself to not look down, I edged my way out on to the tree limb backwards, choking back a sob. Whereas fear made most people tremble uncontrollably, I stayed very calm, body wise that is. Emotionally, I was nearly paralyzed with fear, but I couldn’t leave little Boots out there to starve, freeze, or fall to his death. Inch by inch, I scooted farther until I was completely free of the window. Boots meowed at me and took a step forward only to scuttle back towards the trunk of the tree again in terror. “You stupid, stupid little fur ball. I hate you more than I can say at this moment, you have no idea.” Slowly I inched closer until the only thing between me and the trunk of the tree was Boots. Reaching behind me, I grabbed Boots around the middle, careful not to crush his fragile frame and to not fall off the tree. Leaning back against the trunk of the tree, I hurriedly stuffed him in my jacket and zipped it up higher so he couldn’t fall out. He cuddled around my middle, savoring the warmth.

“It’s okay now, Boots, I’ve got you,” I sobbed, holding to the tree limb so tight my fingers were numb. “Don’t worry, your safe.”

“Ethan? You in here?”

It was Derek. He was looking for me. Choking back terror at being out in the tree, I debated whether or not I really wanted him to find me out in the tree, or if I should just stay silent. He took that decision out of my hands when I saw his hands reach out and close the window.

“NO! PLEASE DEREK, OPEN THE WINDOW!” If I wasn’t terrified before, I was now at the thought of being stuck in the tree with no escape.

“What the hell?” The window opened again and Derek stuck his head out. “Ethan, Jesus, what are you doing out there?”

A tiny meow escaped my jacket.

“Boots?” Derek opened the window wider as he realized what had happened. “Come on, Ethan. Get back in here before you fall.”

He couldn’t have said worse words. The words fall automatically make you think, How Far Up Am I, which then leads to looking down. Something I had been trying so hard to avoid for obvious reasons. A whimper rose in my throat and I gripped the tree harder.

“Ethan?”

I shook my head the tiniest bit, afraid if I shook my head too hard I would loose my balance and plummet to my death. “I - I can’t. I c-can’t move.”

“Jesus, okay. I’m coming, just don’t look down, okay? Stay right there and don’t do anything.” Derek disappeared from the window. For a split second, I was afraid he was so mad at me that he would just leave me there, but within moments he returned. He had stripped off all of his football gear and thrown on a sweatshirt. Slowly, he eased himself out onto the tree limb, making me whimper again when it moved. “It’s okay, just breath, okay Ethan? Breath for me. Look right at me. That’s right, look at my eyes. I’m not going to let you fall, okay? You are going to be fine. Why the Hell did you go out here?”

“There was n-no one in the hall. I couldn’t leave Boots out here and there was no one around, so I came out.”

“But you are terrified of heights! You don’t even like getting on to my bunk bed!” Derek edged himself carefully out to where I was huddled against the trunk, trying not to make the branch move to much for fear I would lose my grip and fall. He sat there and looked at me. “Now that I have you somewhere you can’t run away, want to tell me what the hell went on down on the field?”

“Can’t we talk about this inside?” I cried with distress.

“No, we can’t. You have this knack for disappearing when you don’t want to talk about something and I don’t feel like chasing you all over this damn campus. Now talk.”

“Derek . . . I . . . we could fall,” I said weakly. Boots meowed again and stuck his head out by the zipper of my jacket to look at us.

“I’m not going to let you fall, but I’m not going to get you inside yet, either, until I know what the hell happened down there. That was a pretty nasty thing you did and I think I deserve an explanation.”

“Please, don’t make me do this. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said those things, it was wrong. You can beat the shit out of me if you want to, I’ll let you, just let me go back inside,” I pleaded. I could feel my hands and legs going numb. Visions of my premature death ran through my head like a sick slide show.

“Talk.”

“I just . . . I was jealous, okay? I hated her for hanging on you and kissing you when she hasn’t been here for the last four months and I have. She’s called you all of twice, right? She doesn’t give a shit about you, she cares about her image and what you can do for that. It made me sick. And I hated the fact that you didn’t have enough guts to get rid of her years ago.”

“Ethan, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I like you, you son of a bitch! I’m gay, okay? I’m gay and I like you! I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me the same way you look at Jose, like some kind of freak who amuses you, but nothing more.” I leaned my head back against the trunk and stared up into its bows, tears falling freely. “You can hate me for that or not, I don’t care. You can beat the shit out of me like those football players did back at the water park, I just don’t care. Please, please, just let me go back inside now.”

Derek was silent for a long time. The first snow of the year began to fall down around us, not yet able to penetrate the dense bows of the tree.

“Come on. Move slowly, okay, I’m right here, I won’t let you fall.” Slowly, he eased us backwards until he reached the window. Lifting himself in, he slid across the desk top. Reaching out, he grabbed my wrists. “Come on, you’re almost there. Just a little farther. Your going to have to let go of the branch to come inside. No, don’t panic on me, come on. There we go, that’s right.”

I may never remember how he did it, but somehow he got me back into the room. After I slid across the desk, I collapsed onto the floor, cradling Boots in my jacket. Rocking back and forth was all I could do, just sit there and stare at Derek’s feet. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Derek didn’t say anything, he just turned and walked out of the room.

Within half an hour, I grabbed a blanket, the bag of kitten food and was banging on Jose’s door. I could hear moaning on the inside, so I banged harder. Before long, Jose was opening the door in a very small and revealing robe. I didn’t even let him speak, just pushed my way into the room and threw my blanket and kitten food on the empty upper bunk. Looking over at a disheveled Tim, I pointed for the door. “Out.”

“What the fuck? You can’t tell me to leave.”

“OUT!” Tears stung my eyes again and I turned away.

Jose rushed over to Tim. “Honey, can’t you see my little tiger es wounded? Now, go on, I’ll catch up with you later.”

Tim gathered up his clothes, throwing on his pants and headed for the door, grumbling all the way.

“Baby, what’s happened? Why all the tears?”

Holding Boots close with one hand, I grabbed Jose with the other. I buried my head in his neck and began to cry.

“Oh, Baby. Come sit down and we’ll talk.”

Sitting down on Jose’s bed, Jose patted my shoulder as I hid my face with my scarf that was still wrapped around my neck. “You tell Mamma all about it.”

With a hearty sniff, I came up for air. Letting Boots down to wander around the room, I stared at the wall blankly. “He hates me. I told his girlfriend he wanted to dump her after she had been smooching on him and he hit me. Can’t blame him, I would have done the same thing. So I went back to the dorms only to find Boots out on a tree limb. I couldn’t find anyone else so I c-climbed out.” A gasp from Jose. “He found me stuck there and crawled out after me. I was terrified. Everywhere I looked there was this empty air just waiting for me. I couldn’t move, could barely breath.”

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